1st I need to clarify that while I was seriously jilted and shaken up by my 15 mile run, there is no way in HELL I'm giving up on running the marathon on July 8th. The only thing that is going to keep me from it is a serious injury (from throwing myself in front of a bus on the next long run?jk). I have too much to prove and I have too much to gain, mostly for myself, from this accomplishment so I CAN NOT give up on it.
2nd I needed that hard run. I admitted to my wonderful in-laws that the 15 miler was my first really hard run. I needed that humbling experience and I needed to remember that this isn't supposed to be an easy experience. Only .13% of the world (http://askville.amazon.com/percentage-Americans-run-marathon-life/AnswerViewer.do?requestId=15442237) does this (yes that was thirteen hundredths... not thirteen percent). If it were easy, everyone would become a marathoner! I also need to remember that I am one of a hand full of the Galloway group that has NEVER done this before. Most of them have some experience running... and yeah, I'm probably completely crazy for going from a non-runner (okay so I did one 5K last year) to a marathoner in 6 months, but I need to remember that I am a complete NEWB at this!!!
The hardest part of this journey will always be my mind battles. There is a very loud voice in my head that tells me I won't follow through with this, that it will be like every other thing in my life that I've attempted to keep myself healthy with. I can see doubt in other people's eyes too and I know that they're waiting for day when I say "oh yeah, I'm not doing that anymore" with some lame excuse of how it didn't work for me. I can't let my mind or those eyes win. I need to prove them wrong!
So what I did this week was try and collect sayings and pictures that I've posted next to my bed that will help me through my next biggie (17.5 on April 15th). This is one:
and this is another (stolen from my mother-in-laws Facebook today)
The goal of posting these pictures is to get a mantra of sorts into my head before I go to sleep every night. To get subconscious thoughts of "I can do this" flowing throughout my body, beating in every part of me. These are just a few of the pictures but the gist is the same... Helen is worth it!
Thanks so much for posting this! I, too, was really discouraged by how badly the 15-mile run beat me up. Self-doubt loomed large. The thing that keeps me going is our wonderful Galloway group. See you this Sunday for 17!
ReplyDeleteGwen