Amazing...

Apparently I made this my mantra this week and I didn't even know it!!!  I'm gonna say that not only did I kick booty in my running (which is what this blog is about) but I also kicked booty in my job! April isn't usually the time that I feel like this... actually it's usually around October/November and it goes downhill from there! Usually around April is about the time I'm ready to get on to the next batch of students... NOT this week! We're savin' kiddos, one grade at a time in my classroom!!!

Anyway, enough of that.  So last weekend we ran a smaller 4 mile run.  I have to tell you, and this has nothing to do with my running partner and sister in law, but that 4 miler felt longer to me that my 4 miler that I do around my house.  (yes, I know that my 4 miler is 4 miles because I used my Nike+ ipod AND I mapped it on myrun.com) One of the things that Mags and I talked about on our run on Sunday, though, was what others think about this process.  

Now, know this about me, I have ALWAYS worried about what other people think.  It's a long ingrained issue that I have had since grade school (again, I'll explore it in therapy). So on this run, Mags and I started talking about what others think... I told her that I was very careful about who I told I was "running" a marathon and who I told I was "walk/running" a marathon.  I know that there are doubters out there that would tell me that I did not run an entire marathon if I Galloway-ed it.  And you know what Mags said to me? "WHO CARES?" 

I've thought about this all week.  I've come to the conclusion that I really don't.  I've heard several comments: "I find it very hard to believe that you can run/walk faster than you can run." (it's true, I can) "Can you call it running if you don't run the entire thing?" (I do) "Oh, so you don't run the entire thing (with that look and smile)" (no) But the conclusion I've really come to is the same thing Maggie said... "WHO CARES?!?!" Who cares if I'm running it or walking it or both? Why does it matter? 26.2 is 26.2 whether you run, walk, swim, hike, bike, or freaking drive (okay so driving isn't as impressive... well unless you're new to it!).  So this is the new one that's going up on my wall. 

17.5 miles!

17.5 miles... 17 and a half.  I gotta tell ya ladies and gents, it was a lot better than the 15 mile run.
I'm gonna say right now that I love my mother-in-law.  She stuck with me the entire time.  I slowed her down... A LOT... but she stuck with me and helped me through it.  LOVE HER!!!!
There were a lot of things that were different with this run.  One of them was that I hadn't run for a week.  I got sick this week and couldn't run so I was completely wingin' it!!! NOT going to do that again.  But I think the biggest difference, and what helped me through the run, was that Kevin and I didn't do anything on Saturday... I mean, yeah, I cleaned windows and he pulled a bush out of the yard but we didn't travel anywhere, or do anything that wasn't in outside of our normal routine.  That played a big role in my mental state the day of the run, I think! I also slowed it down quite a bit... and for being sick the week before I'm gonna say that I think 16 minute miles wasn't bad!!! Maybe I'll shoot for faster next time... but maybe not....

So, I got to thinking on this run about what really got me inspired to try and Galloway a marathon.  There again comes my wonderful mother-in-law who introduced me to the Galloway method and The Back of the Pack.  When she decided to run in the Missoula marathon over a year ago, she started posting things on Facebook from Pam Gardiner who is the co-director of the Galloway group for Run Wild Missoula.  Pam and Sue talked a lot about the Back of the Pack mentality of being proud of finishing and doing it for the health of it, not for the time of it.  Her blog a while back here literally brought tears to my eyes as she described who I could find at the Back of the Pack.  THIS is what I wanted from exercise and running... I don't care how fast I am.  I don't care if I'm the last one crossing the finish line.  I don't have a beef with anyone that calls me slow and I don't feel like I have anything to prove to anyone about how fast I am (I do have something to prove with whether or not I can do this but that's another blog).  So I decided to go for it.  I'm gonna Galloway a marathon because I can.

Clarification...

The title has multiple meanings (as I tell my 5th graders) today because I came to some clarity this week but I also need to clarify something to my readers.

1st I need to clarify that while I was seriously jilted and shaken up by my 15 mile run, there is no way in HELL I'm giving up on running the marathon on July 8th.  The only thing that is going to keep me from it is a serious injury (from throwing myself in front of a bus on the next long run?jk).  I have too much to prove and I have too much to gain, mostly for myself, from this accomplishment so I CAN NOT give up on it.

2nd I needed that hard run.  I admitted to my wonderful in-laws that the 15 miler was my first really hard run.  I needed that humbling experience and I needed to remember that this isn't supposed to be an easy experience.  Only .13% of the world (http://askville.amazon.com/percentage-Americans-run-marathon-life/AnswerViewer.do?requestId=15442237) does this (yes that was thirteen hundredths... not thirteen percent). If it were easy, everyone would become a marathoner! I also need to remember that I am one of a hand full of the Galloway group that has NEVER done this before.  Most of them have some experience running... and yeah, I'm probably completely crazy for going from a non-runner (okay so I did one 5K last year) to a marathoner in 6 months, but I need to remember that I am a complete NEWB at this!!!
The hardest part of this journey will always be my mind battles.  There is a very loud voice in my head that tells me I won't follow through with this, that it will be like every other thing in my life that I've attempted to keep myself healthy with.  I can see doubt in other people's eyes too and I know that they're waiting for day when I say "oh yeah, I'm not doing that anymore" with some lame excuse of how it didn't work for me.  I can't let my mind or those eyes win.  I need to prove them wrong! 


So what I did this week was try and collect sayings and pictures that I've posted next to my bed that will help me through my next biggie (17.5 on April 15th).  This is one:

and this is another (stolen from my mother-in-laws Facebook today)

The goal of posting these pictures is to get a mantra of sorts into my head before I go to sleep every night.  To get subconscious thoughts of "I can do this" flowing throughout my body, beating in every part of me.  These are just a few of the pictures but the gist is the same... Helen is worth it! 

15 miles = OMG!!!

So last time I wrote, I said I was sick... I don't know if that had a part in my struggling so much today.  I struggled physically but more importantly... I struggled mentally.  This was the closest I've come to giving up. No... I need to rephrase that.  This was the closest I've come to dropping back to the half marathon training group.
It's no one's fault but my own... but I saw it coming in the beginning.  As a group we decided to up our training intervals from 60 seconds walking/ 20 seconds running to 60 seconds walking/ 30 seconds running.  I LOVED this idea.  I felt like 20 seconds was just a little too short... but I didn't realize that we, as a group, would be upping our speed as well as our intervals.  In the beginning, when I realized this today, I should have slowed down and did my own thing.  But, as a newbie runner, I pushed myself and mentally I kept telling myself if they can do it so can I!
I was fine all the way out to Bonner... I was even fine coming back some of the way.  But I really started to struggle in East Missoula... and I REALLY started to struggle on the road back in from East Missoula.  My AWESOME mother-in-law helped me all the way through but the battle in my head was RAGING.  "You should give up." "What were you thinking trying to run this far?" "You're going to injure yourself and it's going to be bad" "Why are you torturing yourself?" "Your car is the OTHER way." "What the hell are you doing?!?!"
So what did I learn from my run today? 1) Bring your own beeper. 2) Go at your own pace.  3) Bring headphones for those mind battles.


Before I close out my blog today I want to say that my intentions with this blog are only to possibly inspire others who might feel like running isn't their thing.  I NEVER EVER in 1 million years, thought that I would be a marathoner.  There will be times that I struggle and times that I rant and rave... but my blog is not intended for people to criticize and I'm not really looking for help through this blog.  That's what I have my running group for.  AND THEY'RE THE BEST EVER!!!