15 miles = OMG!!!

So last time I wrote, I said I was sick... I don't know if that had a part in my struggling so much today.  I struggled physically but more importantly... I struggled mentally.  This was the closest I've come to giving up. No... I need to rephrase that.  This was the closest I've come to dropping back to the half marathon training group.
It's no one's fault but my own... but I saw it coming in the beginning.  As a group we decided to up our training intervals from 60 seconds walking/ 20 seconds running to 60 seconds walking/ 30 seconds running.  I LOVED this idea.  I felt like 20 seconds was just a little too short... but I didn't realize that we, as a group, would be upping our speed as well as our intervals.  In the beginning, when I realized this today, I should have slowed down and did my own thing.  But, as a newbie runner, I pushed myself and mentally I kept telling myself if they can do it so can I!
I was fine all the way out to Bonner... I was even fine coming back some of the way.  But I really started to struggle in East Missoula... and I REALLY started to struggle on the road back in from East Missoula.  My AWESOME mother-in-law helped me all the way through but the battle in my head was RAGING.  "You should give up." "What were you thinking trying to run this far?" "You're going to injure yourself and it's going to be bad" "Why are you torturing yourself?" "Your car is the OTHER way." "What the hell are you doing?!?!"
So what did I learn from my run today? 1) Bring your own beeper. 2) Go at your own pace.  3) Bring headphones for those mind battles.


Before I close out my blog today I want to say that my intentions with this blog are only to possibly inspire others who might feel like running isn't their thing.  I NEVER EVER in 1 million years, thought that I would be a marathoner.  There will be times that I struggle and times that I rant and rave... but my blog is not intended for people to criticize and I'm not really looking for help through this blog.  That's what I have my running group for.  AND THEY'RE THE BEST EVER!!!