17.5 miles!

17.5 miles... 17 and a half.  I gotta tell ya ladies and gents, it was a lot better than the 15 mile run.
I'm gonna say right now that I love my mother-in-law.  She stuck with me the entire time.  I slowed her down... A LOT... but she stuck with me and helped me through it.  LOVE HER!!!!
There were a lot of things that were different with this run.  One of them was that I hadn't run for a week.  I got sick this week and couldn't run so I was completely wingin' it!!! NOT going to do that again.  But I think the biggest difference, and what helped me through the run, was that Kevin and I didn't do anything on Saturday... I mean, yeah, I cleaned windows and he pulled a bush out of the yard but we didn't travel anywhere, or do anything that wasn't in outside of our normal routine.  That played a big role in my mental state the day of the run, I think! I also slowed it down quite a bit... and for being sick the week before I'm gonna say that I think 16 minute miles wasn't bad!!! Maybe I'll shoot for faster next time... but maybe not....

So, I got to thinking on this run about what really got me inspired to try and Galloway a marathon.  There again comes my wonderful mother-in-law who introduced me to the Galloway method and The Back of the Pack.  When she decided to run in the Missoula marathon over a year ago, she started posting things on Facebook from Pam Gardiner who is the co-director of the Galloway group for Run Wild Missoula.  Pam and Sue talked a lot about the Back of the Pack mentality of being proud of finishing and doing it for the health of it, not for the time of it.  Her blog a while back here literally brought tears to my eyes as she described who I could find at the Back of the Pack.  THIS is what I wanted from exercise and running... I don't care how fast I am.  I don't care if I'm the last one crossing the finish line.  I don't have a beef with anyone that calls me slow and I don't feel like I have anything to prove to anyone about how fast I am (I do have something to prove with whether or not I can do this but that's another blog).  So I decided to go for it.  I'm gonna Galloway a marathon because I can.

Clarification...

The title has multiple meanings (as I tell my 5th graders) today because I came to some clarity this week but I also need to clarify something to my readers.

1st I need to clarify that while I was seriously jilted and shaken up by my 15 mile run, there is no way in HELL I'm giving up on running the marathon on July 8th.  The only thing that is going to keep me from it is a serious injury (from throwing myself in front of a bus on the next long run?jk).  I have too much to prove and I have too much to gain, mostly for myself, from this accomplishment so I CAN NOT give up on it.

2nd I needed that hard run.  I admitted to my wonderful in-laws that the 15 miler was my first really hard run.  I needed that humbling experience and I needed to remember that this isn't supposed to be an easy experience.  Only .13% of the world (http://askville.amazon.com/percentage-Americans-run-marathon-life/AnswerViewer.do?requestId=15442237) does this (yes that was thirteen hundredths... not thirteen percent). If it were easy, everyone would become a marathoner! I also need to remember that I am one of a hand full of the Galloway group that has NEVER done this before.  Most of them have some experience running... and yeah, I'm probably completely crazy for going from a non-runner (okay so I did one 5K last year) to a marathoner in 6 months, but I need to remember that I am a complete NEWB at this!!!
The hardest part of this journey will always be my mind battles.  There is a very loud voice in my head that tells me I won't follow through with this, that it will be like every other thing in my life that I've attempted to keep myself healthy with.  I can see doubt in other people's eyes too and I know that they're waiting for day when I say "oh yeah, I'm not doing that anymore" with some lame excuse of how it didn't work for me.  I can't let my mind or those eyes win.  I need to prove them wrong! 


So what I did this week was try and collect sayings and pictures that I've posted next to my bed that will help me through my next biggie (17.5 on April 15th).  This is one:

and this is another (stolen from my mother-in-laws Facebook today)

The goal of posting these pictures is to get a mantra of sorts into my head before I go to sleep every night.  To get subconscious thoughts of "I can do this" flowing throughout my body, beating in every part of me.  These are just a few of the pictures but the gist is the same... Helen is worth it! 

15 miles = OMG!!!

So last time I wrote, I said I was sick... I don't know if that had a part in my struggling so much today.  I struggled physically but more importantly... I struggled mentally.  This was the closest I've come to giving up. No... I need to rephrase that.  This was the closest I've come to dropping back to the half marathon training group.
It's no one's fault but my own... but I saw it coming in the beginning.  As a group we decided to up our training intervals from 60 seconds walking/ 20 seconds running to 60 seconds walking/ 30 seconds running.  I LOVED this idea.  I felt like 20 seconds was just a little too short... but I didn't realize that we, as a group, would be upping our speed as well as our intervals.  In the beginning, when I realized this today, I should have slowed down and did my own thing.  But, as a newbie runner, I pushed myself and mentally I kept telling myself if they can do it so can I!
I was fine all the way out to Bonner... I was even fine coming back some of the way.  But I really started to struggle in East Missoula... and I REALLY started to struggle on the road back in from East Missoula.  My AWESOME mother-in-law helped me all the way through but the battle in my head was RAGING.  "You should give up." "What were you thinking trying to run this far?" "You're going to injure yourself and it's going to be bad" "Why are you torturing yourself?" "Your car is the OTHER way." "What the hell are you doing?!?!"
So what did I learn from my run today? 1) Bring your own beeper. 2) Go at your own pace.  3) Bring headphones for those mind battles.


Before I close out my blog today I want to say that my intentions with this blog are only to possibly inspire others who might feel like running isn't their thing.  I NEVER EVER in 1 million years, thought that I would be a marathoner.  There will be times that I struggle and times that I rant and rave... but my blog is not intended for people to criticize and I'm not really looking for help through this blog.  That's what I have my running group for.  AND THEY'RE THE BEST EVER!!!

Running when you're sick...

I knew it was coming.  I always get a cold sore right BEFORE I get sick.  So I've been coughing and hacking all week.  Thursday, I joined some of our BOPers for a run, knowing it might not be very much fun for me with this darn cold.
I was pleasantly wrong! When I got done, my throat felt like it was on fire and my tonsils swelled to the size of Cadbury eggs but I was happy, I felt healthy (aside from the throat) and I grew more love for the people I run with.

I have to tell you that I expected to find some sort of social life and new friends from this running group but I never expected the SUPPORT.  The ladies of the Back of the Pack have shown nothing but love for running and have helped several people learn to love this sport... and we're only half way through! They've given advice when needed and let me be when needed. They've checked up on me, made sure I was still loving it, and I AM!!! AND I'm still injury free and have been very lucky to love each and every one of my runs!

12.5

Sunday was my longest run ever.  We ran for 12.5 miles in and around Missoula's streets. I've been asked to blog about it, but to be quite honest, I don't really want to because I was, and still sort-of am, a negative Nelly about the whole thing.  I was frustrated with the fact that we were running in town and had to cross busy streets but I was more frustrated with the amount of bathroom breaks my group took! We ran for 3.5 hours and took 3 bathroom breaks!!!! It was really hard to get into any kind of rhythm with that many breaks.  And the whole idea of the pace group is to stick with the group, build off each other, and get the camaraderie of being in a group... but seriously when we were on our 3rd bathroom break with only 5 (or so) miles left to go, I wanted to leave their asses and just get the damn run OVER!
My attitude has sucked lately.  Tuesday's run was nice, but short, and I've been incredibly pissy and tired.  I was really thankful for tonight's run so that I could get into my center again and remind myself why I was doing this.  I did a four mile loop around my "neighborhood" and enjoyed running around the countryside.  I even saw horses, ran on some dirt road, and smelled a little poop! There was only one little issue when I almost threw my beeper at a chick who almost hit me because she was texting while driving.  I was pleasantly surprised when I got home and my ipod told me I was running at a 14.1 mile pace! That's really fast for me!

I'm going to try running with my brother this weekend... it'll be interesting to see how things go as he and I are more competitive but I want to show him what's up with this whole Galloway way!

Run for the Luck of It!

Here I am ladies and gents! I ran in my first Run Wild Missoula race this weekend and I had a BLAST! It was a St. Patty's day run, Run for the Luck of it.  I ran a 5K in 39:09 which is a 12.44 min pace... that's pretty fast for me!

I'm working very hard on learning to be proud of myself for these things.  Yesterday was a big hurdle for me because it was a run that I really felt good about.  Even after the 10 mile run last weekend, I couldn't, somehow, feel proud of it, even though I know it's a big feat and that not many people can do it.  I'm slowly starting to get there...

#$#(@%&#@O)($#!@)(

Yeah, that's right. I said it. Tonight's run sucked my @$$.  So before I go on there are a couple of things you need to know about me...

1. I am NOT a competitive person.  Seriously, at the slightest sniff of competition, I lay down and pout.  Literally cross my arms and nearly throw a temper tantrum.  I just don't do it.  Call it a fear of failure or whatever you want but Competition and me don't get along.
2.  I don't like to be pushed, ESPECIALLY in athletics.
3. I don't like to hold other people back from their goals and I don't like other people relying on me to complete their goals.
4. I'm slow.  I know I'm slow.  I've always been slow.  I don't feel the need, right now, to be fast.

These are probably all inter-related and I promise I will seek out a therapist and talk about the relationship between these things and my weight and my father and blah blah blah later on in life okay? But until then, I run. And tonight.  I sucked.
I didn't realize that I was the only one with a gymboss beeper when we left the Runner's Edge... actually, I didn't realize it until we got on the trail and the people behind Maggie and I wouldn't pass us and were on the same time as us.  I looked back and realized it was my fellow BOPers! Ahhh Back of the Pack.  We're fine.
These BOPers weren't so BOP!!!!! We were doing a 30/35 second interval and the 30 seconds of jogging was actually a sprint (for me anyway)! But I can't back off because I'm the one with the beeper! So I pushed my butt through it but at the end wound up with a stitch in my side and a scowl on my face.
Then I got home and Kevin accidentally chopped all my celery. GEEZ!!!!

I should say, however, that the 10 mile run on Sunday was pretty awesome.  I struggled on 39th street with the hills but wound up really enjoying myself and the BEAUTIFUL weather.  The Run for the Luck of it is on Saturday and a short 4 miler on Sunday.  Looking forward to redeeming myself (and myself only) this weekend.