WHOA 23 MILES!!!

The last couple of weeks of school are crazy busy so I haven't had a lot of time to type out my experience on our 23 mile run.  It is now the last Saturday before I'm officially a free woman for the summer, however, and I'm free of commitments for the rest of the 3 day weekend (except for our run tomorrow morning) so I better sit down and blog this out!

My experience on the 23 mile run was quite amazing.  It's obviously the furthest I've ever run before and my body and mind experienced things I've never felt before.  I've taken to mentally breaking up my runs and I didn't even really realize that I was doing it until Momma Sue pointed it out on our make-up run a couple of weeks ago.  She said "Isn't it amazing that we just ran out to Bonner and all the way back to your house?" Mentally, I had broken that run into a run out to Bonner and back and then a run in town to my house! 

So my first run on the 23 miler was awesome! We went up the Rattlesnake area and around some of the trails up there.  It was cool and beautiful and a nice run! 

My second run was a little tougher! We ran on the Kim Williams trail for awhile and then veered onto the Bitterroot trail and then up to 39th street... this is where I started to struggle.  My mind was having issues earlier than this but my savior Carol starting telling me about a trip of her's and my mind was distracted until my stomach started to cramp up on 39th street.  It was TERRIBLE! My other savior Donna fed me a peanut butter sandwich and I felt better but it was starting to get hot and we'd been at this for a good 4+ hours! 

It's quite miraculous what your body can do.  The 18 mile mark was where I really figured this out! I hit a wall at mile 18 and fought with that wall... mentally, physically, my body went through waves of nausea that I thought would take me out...  you name it, I struggled through it. By mile 20, I was ready to give up.  And then, out of the corner of my mind, came a little voice that said "But there's only 3 more miles!" and then it got louder "ONLY 3 MORE MILES!" and it got louder with every mile "TWO MORE MILES!!!!" and relief when that last mile came into my mind " ONE LAST MILE!!!!! YOU'VE GOT IT!" 

I didn't run across the bridge as I had planned because I was still fighting those waves of nausea but I didn't give up and I finished my 23 miles!!!! 

And the best part is... we only have 3 more miles until I've run a full marathon!!!! 

Gearing up...again

okay, so I run instead of swim... and to be honest, I'd love to be swimming instead... I love to swim.  Maybe my next adventure will be triathlon. I'd have to fix my bike.  ANYWAY! (I guess I'm a little like Dori right now).

So um... last Sunday... Sue and I ran to Bonner and back and then all the way out to my house on the other side of town... yeah, it was just like that.  It was kinda cool!
This Sunday, was crazy busy and I missed the magic mile.  I've missed the magic mile with the group every time since the first one but I haven't had to miss a long run yet! So I did my own magic mile tonight and figured out that a) I probably shouldn't run after dinner and b) there's an adorable family of foxes by the fort that messed up my time a bit! I shaved 20 seconds off my MM though.

I'm getting burned out.  I'm pretty sure it's because school is getting so close to being out.  I'm ready for a change in pace and I'm excited to change up my running times to when I'm not exhausted from tracking down kiddos.  I'm just plain exhausted and I feel like I'm forcing myself to run at this point.  I'm also ready for the process to be over... more because I'm excited to see how this whole thing is going to turn out! I want to see the end result of 6 months of training! For now though I guess I'll "just keep running, running, running. just keep running"

20...er.. nope

Sunday's 20 miler was eventful! I learned some lessons through someone else this week (names unmentioned... but you'll probably figure things out... HA) and have the same person to thank for REPEATING the run next Sunday!
We'll just say... 11.5 miles, hospital for a loved one, babysit- soccer game, pictures, playing, CRAZY! When my head hit the pillow Sunday, I felt like I had run 20 miles even though we ended early.

I will say that I am playing serious mental games with myself this week... going to the hospital was a lose/lose situation.  My mind is now playing tricks on me saying that I used my friend going to the hospital as an excuse to get out of the rest of the run.  My mind is telling me that I knew Mags would be fine.
My heart is telling me that I would have kicked myself for finishing the run too.  My heart is telling me that my nephews needed me and Mags needed me and I did a good thing. AND if something had been seriously wrong, I really would have regretted the run.
It's a good thing Sue and I will be making up the run next Sunday so I can shut my mind up!!!!

Okay so here's the lesson.  The run itself on Sunday was extremely relaxing for me.  I was just in it for the jog and I was even mentally prepared to do it myself.  I'm starting to love my solo runs on Tuesday and Thursday more and more.  This is a stress reducer for me.  Last week was HELL for me at work and this time of the year doesn't exactly make it any easier.  Friday afternoon I went for a run and was able to completely leave my week behind me and enjoy my weekend.  While this whole experience is new and different and at times stressful, it is, overall, my stress reducer.
That being said... I yelled with JOY yesterday when I walked up the stairs after a long run (yes 11.5 is still a long run) and DIDN'T HAVE TO USE THE RAILING!!!!!! WHOOP WHOOP!!!!

Amazing...

Apparently I made this my mantra this week and I didn't even know it!!!  I'm gonna say that not only did I kick booty in my running (which is what this blog is about) but I also kicked booty in my job! April isn't usually the time that I feel like this... actually it's usually around October/November and it goes downhill from there! Usually around April is about the time I'm ready to get on to the next batch of students... NOT this week! We're savin' kiddos, one grade at a time in my classroom!!!

Anyway, enough of that.  So last weekend we ran a smaller 4 mile run.  I have to tell you, and this has nothing to do with my running partner and sister in law, but that 4 miler felt longer to me that my 4 miler that I do around my house.  (yes, I know that my 4 miler is 4 miles because I used my Nike+ ipod AND I mapped it on myrun.com) One of the things that Mags and I talked about on our run on Sunday, though, was what others think about this process.  

Now, know this about me, I have ALWAYS worried about what other people think.  It's a long ingrained issue that I have had since grade school (again, I'll explore it in therapy). So on this run, Mags and I started talking about what others think... I told her that I was very careful about who I told I was "running" a marathon and who I told I was "walk/running" a marathon.  I know that there are doubters out there that would tell me that I did not run an entire marathon if I Galloway-ed it.  And you know what Mags said to me? "WHO CARES?" 

I've thought about this all week.  I've come to the conclusion that I really don't.  I've heard several comments: "I find it very hard to believe that you can run/walk faster than you can run." (it's true, I can) "Can you call it running if you don't run the entire thing?" (I do) "Oh, so you don't run the entire thing (with that look and smile)" (no) But the conclusion I've really come to is the same thing Maggie said... "WHO CARES?!?!" Who cares if I'm running it or walking it or both? Why does it matter? 26.2 is 26.2 whether you run, walk, swim, hike, bike, or freaking drive (okay so driving isn't as impressive... well unless you're new to it!).  So this is the new one that's going up on my wall. 

17.5 miles!

17.5 miles... 17 and a half.  I gotta tell ya ladies and gents, it was a lot better than the 15 mile run.
I'm gonna say right now that I love my mother-in-law.  She stuck with me the entire time.  I slowed her down... A LOT... but she stuck with me and helped me through it.  LOVE HER!!!!
There were a lot of things that were different with this run.  One of them was that I hadn't run for a week.  I got sick this week and couldn't run so I was completely wingin' it!!! NOT going to do that again.  But I think the biggest difference, and what helped me through the run, was that Kevin and I didn't do anything on Saturday... I mean, yeah, I cleaned windows and he pulled a bush out of the yard but we didn't travel anywhere, or do anything that wasn't in outside of our normal routine.  That played a big role in my mental state the day of the run, I think! I also slowed it down quite a bit... and for being sick the week before I'm gonna say that I think 16 minute miles wasn't bad!!! Maybe I'll shoot for faster next time... but maybe not....

So, I got to thinking on this run about what really got me inspired to try and Galloway a marathon.  There again comes my wonderful mother-in-law who introduced me to the Galloway method and The Back of the Pack.  When she decided to run in the Missoula marathon over a year ago, she started posting things on Facebook from Pam Gardiner who is the co-director of the Galloway group for Run Wild Missoula.  Pam and Sue talked a lot about the Back of the Pack mentality of being proud of finishing and doing it for the health of it, not for the time of it.  Her blog a while back here literally brought tears to my eyes as she described who I could find at the Back of the Pack.  THIS is what I wanted from exercise and running... I don't care how fast I am.  I don't care if I'm the last one crossing the finish line.  I don't have a beef with anyone that calls me slow and I don't feel like I have anything to prove to anyone about how fast I am (I do have something to prove with whether or not I can do this but that's another blog).  So I decided to go for it.  I'm gonna Galloway a marathon because I can.

Clarification...

The title has multiple meanings (as I tell my 5th graders) today because I came to some clarity this week but I also need to clarify something to my readers.

1st I need to clarify that while I was seriously jilted and shaken up by my 15 mile run, there is no way in HELL I'm giving up on running the marathon on July 8th.  The only thing that is going to keep me from it is a serious injury (from throwing myself in front of a bus on the next long run?jk).  I have too much to prove and I have too much to gain, mostly for myself, from this accomplishment so I CAN NOT give up on it.

2nd I needed that hard run.  I admitted to my wonderful in-laws that the 15 miler was my first really hard run.  I needed that humbling experience and I needed to remember that this isn't supposed to be an easy experience.  Only .13% of the world (http://askville.amazon.com/percentage-Americans-run-marathon-life/AnswerViewer.do?requestId=15442237) does this (yes that was thirteen hundredths... not thirteen percent). If it were easy, everyone would become a marathoner! I also need to remember that I am one of a hand full of the Galloway group that has NEVER done this before.  Most of them have some experience running... and yeah, I'm probably completely crazy for going from a non-runner (okay so I did one 5K last year) to a marathoner in 6 months, but I need to remember that I am a complete NEWB at this!!!
The hardest part of this journey will always be my mind battles.  There is a very loud voice in my head that tells me I won't follow through with this, that it will be like every other thing in my life that I've attempted to keep myself healthy with.  I can see doubt in other people's eyes too and I know that they're waiting for day when I say "oh yeah, I'm not doing that anymore" with some lame excuse of how it didn't work for me.  I can't let my mind or those eyes win.  I need to prove them wrong! 


So what I did this week was try and collect sayings and pictures that I've posted next to my bed that will help me through my next biggie (17.5 on April 15th).  This is one:

and this is another (stolen from my mother-in-laws Facebook today)

The goal of posting these pictures is to get a mantra of sorts into my head before I go to sleep every night.  To get subconscious thoughts of "I can do this" flowing throughout my body, beating in every part of me.  These are just a few of the pictures but the gist is the same... Helen is worth it! 

15 miles = OMG!!!

So last time I wrote, I said I was sick... I don't know if that had a part in my struggling so much today.  I struggled physically but more importantly... I struggled mentally.  This was the closest I've come to giving up. No... I need to rephrase that.  This was the closest I've come to dropping back to the half marathon training group.
It's no one's fault but my own... but I saw it coming in the beginning.  As a group we decided to up our training intervals from 60 seconds walking/ 20 seconds running to 60 seconds walking/ 30 seconds running.  I LOVED this idea.  I felt like 20 seconds was just a little too short... but I didn't realize that we, as a group, would be upping our speed as well as our intervals.  In the beginning, when I realized this today, I should have slowed down and did my own thing.  But, as a newbie runner, I pushed myself and mentally I kept telling myself if they can do it so can I!
I was fine all the way out to Bonner... I was even fine coming back some of the way.  But I really started to struggle in East Missoula... and I REALLY started to struggle on the road back in from East Missoula.  My AWESOME mother-in-law helped me all the way through but the battle in my head was RAGING.  "You should give up." "What were you thinking trying to run this far?" "You're going to injure yourself and it's going to be bad" "Why are you torturing yourself?" "Your car is the OTHER way." "What the hell are you doing?!?!"
So what did I learn from my run today? 1) Bring your own beeper. 2) Go at your own pace.  3) Bring headphones for those mind battles.


Before I close out my blog today I want to say that my intentions with this blog are only to possibly inspire others who might feel like running isn't their thing.  I NEVER EVER in 1 million years, thought that I would be a marathoner.  There will be times that I struggle and times that I rant and rave... but my blog is not intended for people to criticize and I'm not really looking for help through this blog.  That's what I have my running group for.  AND THEY'RE THE BEST EVER!!!